I’m going to let you into a secret, my name is not actually Holly Clarke. Holly Clarke is my nom de plume, my secret identity, my version of Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce (sadly that is where the similarities end).
‘Why not use my actual name?’ I hear you ask. Instead of giving you the answer straight up I thought I would give you a few scenarios. You can pick your favourite, and run with it.
A friend accidentally booked a plane ticket for me under ‘Holly Clarke’
And as it turns out, it was easier (and cheaper) to change my name IRL than it would have been to change the name on my plane ticket.
Before I was a cake baker I was a Super Secret Agent, and needed to change my identity
At university I came across two groups of people; Group 1 – those who knew exactly what they wanted to do when they left university, and Group 2 – those who didn’t. I fell into the latter. One, job-searching / soul-crushing day after university, I saw that The Super Secret agency was recruiting. Took the test, PASSED (I still don’t know how), and then got swept up in the madness that was super secret agenting. Sadly, despite the fact I passed the test, I wasn’t actually very good. Couldn’t keep a secret. Definitely couldn’t lie. And then, one rainy day, my cover got blown – I was wearing the classic super secret agent uniform (a rain coat), but I thought I was safe – after all it was actually raining, when this crazy / 100% justified lady started yelling at me at Finchley road station, chanting, ‘M-I-5! M-I-5!’. Nightmare. At the time I was crushed, and also panicking, but then my boss, Captain Hindsight, said it was probably for the best.
My given name is Grey Tama-King Fancique Aches
Say it fast enough and I would either sound like I was making a terrible pun, or was annoyingly confident.
My actual name doesn’t look so good on a logo
My surname is quite long and can be tricksy to pronounce.